It Takes Two to Tango

What’s in a title? A little more money and some added responsibility for some but for others a big ego and power trip.  The Deputy Chief title was created in Forest View in lieu of promoting someone to Lieutenant.  A certain crybaby sergeant wanted the deputy chief title so bad that rules were broken in trying to win the spot.  Armed with a stack of handpicked cop department reports the crybaby sergeant hit the campaign trail and visited village trustees and with countless others not associated with the cop department.  Those cop department reports were written by another sergeant who was seriously being considered for the deputy chief post.  Reports that should have never been disseminated with anyone outside the cop department. These actions constituted a clear violation of privacy for those parties involved and listed within the cop department reports. What was the point of all of this you ask? Crybaby sergeant became a grammar expert and pointed out any grammar mistakes made on the confidential reports.  Crybaby sergeant’s plan backfired and was passed for the position (shhh…we don’t think crybaby sergeant was even being considered). Crybaby sergeant pouted and abruptly resigned, stepping back down to regular cop rank, that’ll show them! Crybaby sergeant still has a job after a clear violation of department policy and the public’s trust.

A new village president and police chief later, the cop department is notified that the deputy chief is to be on the afternoon shift. It was no secret that the new chief was not too friendly with the deputy chief so the less he saw of him the happier the new chief would be.  The chief’s unfriendliness with Forest View cops dates back to his days in Stickney.  Forest View cops would drive by calls near the Stickney border and offer assistance.  The Stickney sergeant would wave off all help from Forest View sometimes nicely and others with some profanity and anger.  If the nice Forest View cops were garbage cans or water coolers, they would have probably been kicked a few times.  With the incumbent deputy chief on afternoons, the freshly minted sergeant was on the day shift hanging out in the office next door to the papa chief.  The bro-mance was rekindled and that’s when things in “Funny View” took a turn for the worst.  All the Forest View cops started to notice the spark in the eyes when those two were in the same room together.  The pair began to line up their ducks and made moves without consulting the deputy chief.  When you know, you know. And the deputy chief was well aware of the process taking place to move him aside. With all the tension and no other option left, the deputy chief resigned therefore opening the door for the new leader in training who was known for his long lectures on how to be the police.

A leader leads by example and backs his troops 110%.  When the new chief was appointed, he was heard saying he had to take care of his “guys” first.  Instead of responding like a leader to problems within the cop department, he responds with an immature remark which just solidifies the culture he brings to the table:

Oh those pesky unattended computers screens.  Looks like they need to send additional persons to that Forest View remedial field training. Here's a free lesson:  

• Chapter 3.6 - Things you don't write in official email
  Never write stupid things in email communications that you won't want others to discover.  If within 10 feet from the person you wish to share stupid things with, yell, call or knock on the wall to call them over. Say the stupid things in person and spare yourself the embarrassment of being bitten by the wandering eyes armed with a cellphone camera.

The Accidental Step Father

From the comments:

“His new step kids are quick to drop his name... "do you know who my dad is?"

This is not the first time we hear this.  One of his many step children recently stepped in shit and pulled the “my dad is the police chief” card.  See, usually this is a natural thing to do if you are young, dumb, connected and your popps really is the police chief.  But this is an adult step child who lives in a different town and frankly being connected to chief “dad” held no weight at that moment.  We haven’t forgotten that the house where that particular step [adult] lives in had a history with the cops for gang activity. I wonder if step chief knows that.

Another one of his step children admitted being instructed by the new dad to tell the cops that “dad” was the chief. Sorry, but Maury lied to y’all. You look nothing like the Chief.  This is not cool considering that when this took place the chief dad and new wife had met, got engaged and married in less time than it takes us to drop a deuce.

A word to the WISEman: Lay down the law Gary.  You should take your name out your step kid adult’s mouths.

Poop on Company Time

Reader submissions:

Our inbox was filled with images of all kinds this morning.  Forest View cops sleeping, watching World Star videos, standing around Dunkin Donuts and other items we will not post to save the embarrassment to those cops who do work hard.  We did choose a couple that are very fitting right now. We can't verify the authenticity of the pictures but they look very very real.  With all this changing of culture talk we found it a bit disconcerting that the pappa chief is still referring to Forest View as Funny View even in his company email. So much for working hard to change the culture of the cop department:

Pooping is a natural body function but trading emails with cartoons?

These are some old images that someone has been hanging onto for a day like this. Unattended computer screens can reveal some things we don't want others to see, whoops!   If this is what we pay these people to do all day, we want a refund.

Changing a Culture

In order to change a deteriorated culture, you must start by aligning your culture with what drives the department’s success.  The chief is absolutely and positively right, the individuals who speak out on this medium don’t reflect the values of the Forest View police department, they expose them.  Freedom of speech is a great tool for those who want to expose the inconsistencies in accountability and mismanagement of a public service body. The cop department’s idea of changing a culture is replacing all of those who aren’t in the circle of cronies.

All the reasons the chief referred to Forest View as Funny View during his days in Stickney are still relevant today.  We weren’t going to air all the laundry but fuck it.  Our sources over the last year have given us enough stories to write a book. The deputy chief should have just resigned when it was a thought on his mind a few months ago.

Forest View has a cop that is afraid of his own shadow.  Any cop, not just in Forest View but even in surrounding villages will concur that he is a safety problem but overlooked by the top cop brass. The stories are numerous and well known to the Chiefs.  The stalling techniques like the bathroom breaks as soon as he is sent to a do anything that involves cop work. Some way or another he gets what he asks for like special arrangements when he is out of comp time but still allowed to take a day off.  Predictably calls in sick attached to benefit days or regular days off work.  If it’s Sunday, you can guarantee he will be feeling ill.

Let’s not forget the cop who loved to play hide and go seek with the police chief.  That floor mat fighting cop knows all the good hiding spots around town besides the cemetery. A certified expert on extending vacations.  Starts his day with a scan of the work schedule to calculate which days other shifts will be low on manpower so he can call in with an upset stomach.  Another obvious pattern of benefit time abuse. The deputy chief would come to the rescue to make sure that cop wasn’t inconvenienced with having to work a few extra hours that poor baby. 

It must be nice to be able to pick and choose your days off like the deputy chief. We still don’t understand how he is not considered manpower but fills in as manpower.  Does he collect overtime as an exempt employee? Does he accrue comp time? Is that comp time calculated at time and a half? All things we want to know for the next board meeting.

The deputy chief himself was no angel.  A previous chief walked in on the deputy chief sleeping while the other cop was serenading him with his guitar in the station.  Years later, the mariachi player was caught sleeping by a trustee and he was promoted to detective.

Some part-time cops have juice too.  There was the body work incident where a part-time cop attempted to cover up crashing a cop car. Then the same cop damages another cop car and blames the deputy chief. Continued stopping all those poor Mexicans while the top brass looked away.  He got to keep his job if he brought in arrests, no matter the cost.  A newcomer cop wrote some tickets on some wrong tickets and got promoted to full time.  The unconnected cops get fired for writing some things on wrong things. We can keep going but we have a fondness for the other cops from the neighboring towns that work in Forest View now.

The chief may be proud of where the cop department stands but that is just the deputy chief’s illusion. The department members who worked hard to make the illusion possible don’t really work.  When was the last time the cop who is afraid of his own shadow arrested anyone?  If he isn’t in the Dunkin Donut’s lot, he’s in the station or parading in Stickney.  The people you trust have turned their backs on you just as you have turned your backs on them.  Keep working hard on that culture the Forest View way.

Anti-Transparency

The Village of Forest View has an obligation to share information with residents to make informed decisions and hold officials accountable for the conduct of the people’s business.  Our village does all in its power to keep the dealings under wraps just like the switch-a-roo with the village president seat.

A few weeks ago we wanted to contact a trustee or two and ask for more info on the village president turned fire chief and the neighbor who filled in as a trustee in exchange for his hand forced vote.  We Googled the village website but it only has an address and a phone number.  We called the phone number and the cop department answers? We asked for the trustee’s names and email addresses, the person who answered the phone didn’t have that information.  Back to Google we go.  We visited the Cook County Clerk’s website for elected officials and punched in our address and we were able to find our elected officials and some contact information.  Not what you would expect though:

Every trustee has the email address for Barb Trainor. We again called the village [cop department] and asked to speak to Barb and we were told she didn’t work there anymore.  All this work just to contact a trustee. Something smells. Why are emails directed to a former employee’s address? This is no accident, even the newly elected trustee has the same barbtrainor@forestview-il.org address in his record.  This smells of anti-transparency. Does the village manager Mark Macorrola monitor and filter the trustee emails?

Why is the cop department answering the phone for the village employees being paid bag loads of money to be there for us? Why aren’t the village board meeting agendas or minutes posted on the website? This is 2019, I shouldn’t have to walk to the village hall to read an agenda or see what decisions were made on the people's behalf.  The village has enough money to pay an administrator a six figure salary and provide a part time six figure police chief personal transportation but not enough to update a website to make it easier for us residents to be informed. Oh, but the newsletter.

Bad Deputy Chief, Good Pappa Chief, Happy Accidental Village President

We attended an ice cream social a couple towns over and ran into a fellow Forest View resident.  The small talk touched on topics including the cop department and what has become a repetitive story; new faces and parking tickets.  The resident complained about the accidental village president not being ticketed for blocking the sidewalk after getting a few for the same thing. A neighbor of this resident had recently received a ticket and went to the cop station to see if they can get it forgiven.  The Forest View deputy chief angrily said no but then the pappa chief came out and feverishly kissed ass forgiving the ticket.  We have heard this same story over and over and over so if you are a resident and get a ticket go see the pappa chief because the deputy chief doesn’t like residents.  That is one way to get some stats for the accidental village president and make residents like you: order cops to write the residents tickets and then have the deputy chief say no when they ask for forgiveness, then come to the rescue and forgive them.  We will be checking to see if the accidental village president gets any tickets for parking on the sidewalk.

New Police Chief?

Rumors are flying over at the cop station that GW is on his way out.  What does that dude do anyway other than sleep in his chair?  Who will our new top chief queef be? There are undisclosed reports that the depurdy queef Imbesal has already ordered his new uniform accessories.

Overtime Due

Word around town is that cops must check their email 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  The Forest View depurdy chief queef done gone as far as firing a part time cop over an email he didn't check while on his personal time off.  Sounds like y'all need to contact a lawyer and claim all that overtime for checking your email when off work.  Send us some money for the tip!

Cop Fights with....

an office chair. The office chair kicked the cop really hard and took him down.  In the end, the chair won and the Forest View cop is now on paid vacation. The chair has been charged with beating up a cop and is expected to appear in court on Friday. The Forest View cop is expected to make a full recovery and return to work, that is until he fights with another chair or floor mat for some additional time off.

New Cops in Town

We made some calls and got the four one one on the new cops.  The female cop was already on the village payroll.  When the depurdy and his papa fired the other cop, they pulled a fast one on the village board.  It has been reported that the depurdy chief called all the cops and demanded they show up to the village board meeting where the new female cop was to be approved for hire and sworn in by the village board on the same day.  The depurdy also presented an award to the other new cop just for showing up to a call so he had to be present at the meeting.  Things didn't go as planned and the board was split on hiring the female cop.  Trustees claimed that they didn't know who she was or where she came from.  The new female cop was on the payroll but didn't actually work a lot.  We are willing to bet our hourly salary on that the female cop is one of the depurdy chief queef's friend of a friend.

Blind Leading the Blind

We were recently stopped by a new female cop we have never seen in our town before.  It was late and we had a few adult drinks but there was a DD behind the wheel. Another new cop pulled up and approached the party. Curiously we asked about the newness and turns out that the entire village was being protected by two new freshly minted cops still on super secret probation.  When we asked about these two new faces, we were told that they aren't done with training yet.  Who is running the ship over there on 46th and Home?