K9 or no K9?

The K9 unit has a new truck.  They finally got rid of that clown car SUV.  But wait! The K9 truck is driving around with no dog? We call that false flagging!  Money well spent #fedex

Forest View Cops are Hiring

The qualifications are you must be a Stickney cop, a connected fire chief or an inexperienced cop with two days out of training. The deputado chiefo is slowly forcing the long time part-time Forest View cops out to bring in his connected peeps.  If you had beef with the deputado in the past, you might as well start looking for a new cop job.

Man of Many Hats - Fire Cop

Something is cookin' in Riverside.  Their fire chief is now a cop in Forest View.  Why would a $149,000 a year fire chief come to work in Forest View as a part time cop?  So what happens if a fire happens in Riverside and he is working in Forest View? A little double dippin' for the fire cop.

Whoops!

Forest View is looking for a new public works director, again. The dude they just hired was quickly sent packing.  The village board approved the hiring of James Patrick Ryan on Tuesday without checking his job history. After being officially hired Ryan was sent to the police station for a criminal background check which turned up zilch. A Forest View employee who dresses as a cop did a quick google search of the Ryan's name and went to his village contact to report what he found (read here).  The accidental village president Larry Powell blamed the cops for not finding out about his work history before they hired him.

Political Favors

On election day, residents take time out of their busy schedules to hit the polls and vote for their desired candidate.  The village president race back in 2017 only had one choice, Thomas Heller.  So how did Larry Powell become president if we didn't vote for him?  Lets see if you can figure this out:

1. Thomas Heller loses his full time job outside of the village
2. Larry Moran suddenly steps down as Fire Chief
3. Thomas Heller suddenly steps down as village president
4. Larry Powell is appointed as the new village president
5. Larry Powell appoints Thomas Heller as interim Fire Chief

Bait n switch... Gotcha!

Appointments by the village president have to be approved by the village board. When Heller's appointment was up for vote, there weren't enough votes to get the approval for Heller to be appointed as interim fire chief.  Not to worry! Powell fixed this by approaching some residents on our block and asking them if he can appoint them to the board to fill his vacant trustee seat.  All they would have to do in exchange is vote the same way Powell votes.  David Figueroa accepted that deal and was appointed by Powell. Figueroa voted as instructed by Powell and Thomas Heller was appointed interim fire chief for our village.

Figueroa lost his 2019 write-in campaign and the loss was certified by the Cook County Clerk's office on April 23rd, 2019.  That would mean he is out, right? No, not in Forest View. Figueroa was still allowed to vote on matters before the board following the loss.  This enabled Powell and his cronies to pass stuff on their agenda without a problem including making Thomas Heller's appointment as fire chief permanent.  After all the business was handled with the outgoing Figueroa in the seat he lost, the new trustee was sworn in.  The new trustee would have voted against many of the things up for decision.  One of the major items was Thomas Heller who is believed to not be the right guy for the fire chief position.   There was no village job posting or search for a qualified fire chief candidate, it was just handed to Heller no questions asked.

Accidental president Larry Powell using all the loopholes he can find to take care of his pal Heller. Heller always wanted to be fire Chief and Powell always wanted to be village president.   A favor for a favor, the Forest View way.

Deputy Chief Impersonator?

A citizen called the Forest View cop hotline to report that a heavy set Hispanic cop that identified himself as the Forest View deputy chief said some really mean things when he was pulled over.  The deputy chief impostor was really mad because the citizen was recording him with his cell phone.  The citizen kept calling and calling and calling and... well no one wanted to talk about it, not even the police chief.  The telephone that was used to take the calls was placed on administrative leave without pay pending the internal investigation by the deputado chief queef.

Cops Showing Love

Valentine's day brings love and friendship.  The Forest View cops are going to be giving lots more love with their new demand for citizen harassment by the depurdy chief queef and his pappa chief.  Depurdy chief queef is requiring cops to come in with no less than three evidences of citizen harassment a day.  Tickets for everyone that doesn't stop at the stop sign for at least three seconds!

New Forest View Body Shop

Forest View police are now trained in collision repair.  A Forest View cop noticed a rash on a cop car and took immediate action with some super glue and spray paint.  The cop was awarded a vacation day or two without pay and the cop car was placed on administrative leave pending an investigation into why it damaged itself.

Driving While Mexican

If you look Mexican and hang out at the gas station on 47th and Central, make sure you have a valid license to drive.  A little birdie told us that a Forest View cop is targeting Mexican looking motorists.  Watchale!

Cop Injured on the Job

...picking up the telephone.  A forest view police officer was seriously injured when he attempted to answer the telephone.  The doctor has restricted him to light duty for two months.  The telephone was uninjured and placed on administrative leave pending an internal investigation.

K9 or Service Dog?

You may have seen the circus SUV with the K9 labels on it driving on our village streets.  Or maybe you haven't since it's only out during the daytime.  According to an anonymous village trustee, FedEx paid tons of cash for the village to get the dog.  The dog has seen lots of action in other towns during the time the dog is off the clock. The dog makes more overtime than we do delivering boxes.  When the dog works in Forest View, it is used as an emotional support tool for the cop that has anxiety when he goes to incidents.

Cop Walks to Emergency

A bad guy ran from Forest View cops after abandoning a car on a sidewalk.  Another Forest View cop found the bad guy a block away.  A responding cop took his time and walked over to help.  By the time the hero cop arrived, the bad guy was already sleeping in the back of the hero's cop car.  The hero's cop car was placed on administrative leave pending an investigation on how it drove itself to help the other cop.

Forest View School Bus

The Forest View cop department is now providing school transportation services.  The green school bus driver in chief, Gary Wiseman has reportedly been seen using a village owned truck as a bus picking up some kids in the Berwyn area.  Can we get a ride to work?

New Deputy Chief

Two year wonder stupervisor Inbasal has ordered his new star and uniform in anticipation of his appointment to the deputy chief rank.  The department will be in good hands with an inexperienced supervisor who earned his new upcoming rank by rubbing elbows with the chief of police.  This bro-mance dates back to their midnight shift days when each of them would stand guard while they took a nap. What happened to the current deputy chief MP?  Yikes, he stepped down since stupervisor Inbasal was already doing deputy chief rank work. New beginnings for the police department. Or not?

Officer Involved Rugging

A Forest View cop came into contact with an aggressive rug while at the Angry Slice in Summit.  The suspect rug assaulted the cop causing an injury which awarded the cop an extended vacation on a cruise.  The suspect rug left the scene and is still at large.